How can I restore my relationship with my husband on my terms?

MaidenMotherCrone

I really didn't want to come here and ask for advice, but I don't have many people to express my feelings on my marriage, which has been rocky for 15 months. I know it's weird complaining about this on this particular forum, but I want to keep my husband in this relationship, but I am not compromising my needs to satisfy him. I don't know what has gotten into him lately, he's acting like a typical man and this wasn't the state of our marriage 5-6 years ago. I want to believe he's different from the rest, but there nights he'd rather go out with "his boys" than spend time with me, his daughter and his young son who still needs him.

I'm a feminist first and a wife second, however I feel like I am admitting failure if I get a divorce. My first marriage was traumatic, I was abused and had to fight tooth and nail to get 100% custody over my daughter. My second husband has never laid his hands on me, but he is showing some latent misogyny that pisses me off. I figured I was good enough for him, quite frankly he was out of my league when I married him. If it weren't for me pressuring him to finish college..... at age 32 he never would have netted a job of $160k a year, he'd still be at Wal-Mart managing little teenagers and elderly people. So I get the title of "bitch" when I expect him to show up for his son's baseball games. I hold a title of vice president at great company, I work 7 days a week and I am the bread winner of this family, I make time to support my children and he'd rather go to the bar and watch football with his middle aged friends like a manchild.

Our last argument a few days ago was petty. I did start it when I said "you'd rather be around fat sweaty men at a pub then sleep with me." he replied with "you're implying I'm gay? I'm not the one calling Laura (real estate broker I've known since I was 25) at 5:30am talking for several hours."

I'm looking for honesty from people here, if you think this is a relationship destined for failure please let me know. If it does end in divorce, I'm going to be single and that will be the end of it. I know what I built and I have nothing to prove to any man. I have two wonderful children I raised. I made something out of myself. I still have quite a ways before retirement, but I am laying down the groundwork for when I do retire, next thing I need is a man jealous of my success.

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